Alone

Last night at about 5 pm I decided to go out and run an errand. You can all appreciate that I went out to get Ella's red shoes that I had put on hold. A nearby Target finally got a few more in and I bolted. So I went out all alone. It was so nice. I rarely do things by myself. I am a pretty social person and usually if I cant do something with someone else I tend to just not do it at all. Well last night I was having a little bit of a grumpy hour and needed to just get out, so I did.

I went to Target, out to dinner by myself ( which was amazing) and shopping at TJ Max. I got to take my time, go slow and be alone with my thoughts. It was wonderful.

While out, being grumpy and feeling bad for myself, I called up one of my closest friends Jenn. At the end of the conversation she told me the following story. It haunted me all night and made me feel ridiculous... being grumpy for such silly reasons. 

" My Sister-in-law went in on Monday to have her labor induced. She had an appointment with her OBGYN the previous week and all was well, as it had been the entire pregnancy. Family was in town, showers had been had, the clothes were washed and they were ready. She excitedly went to the hospital to have her long-awaited( it took them years to get pregnant) little girl. As they were hooking her up to the monitors they heard a problem... nothing. There was only one heartbeat registering on the monitor, her own. Her baby had died. She still had to go through labor and delivery of her still-born daughter. The autopsy showed that she had been strangled by her umbilical cord... maybe the day before. They got to sit alone with their beautiful, full-term baby for a couple of hours before they took her away. The Family will be flying out to Utah this weekend to bury the daughter they never got to meet but love more than anything."

I just want to cry everytime I think of this. And I cant stop thinking about this. It really puts things into perspective and makes me feel grateful and so fortunate. So my thoughts are with this amazing couple and I pray that they can get through it, I know they will. But I also know they can use as many prayers as they can get.

Who is this girl?

Ella is driving me bonkers recently. I am hoping that this is temporary. Blaming it on her perpetual Winter cold or that fact that she may be working on her 2 year molars. But I think its less those things then I'd like to admit. This girl has been downright sassy, grumpy and naughty. Not to mention the fact that she's basically stopped eating.

Yesterday I was awoken from a nap, I love my life, to Dave screaming Ella's name like I had never heard him do before. I sprinted downstairs and saw it. Black Sharpie all over GG's things and all over Ella and her clothes. She had found this marker and went to town on GG's chair, pillow, books, dresser and mirror. I wanted to kill her. These are the few things that GG actually uses consistently. And among the very few things she has brought here from her old home... and my kid has gone and turned them into an art project! I was horrified and embarrassed. We got it off of the furniture but that was the best we could do. Of coarse GG was a star about the whole thing. "Those things are bound to happen." and " I can just flip this pillow upside-down and you wont even see any of it" Were among the words out of her mouth... I love this Woman. I think she was the one who felt bad that Ella had been yelled at and put in her room for so long. 

So, here is my new, naughty Ella. Any suggestions? Besides to keep the markers out of the house.

shoes and shots.

I guess everyone buys red shoes for their girls at Christmas time. Its ridiculous. I have been looking for red mary jane's in a size 7 for Ella and have looked everywhere. I should have bought the cute one's I saw at Target last month but I thought I had plenty of time to do it. I have looked at every shoe store they have at both 5 points and the mall. I have looked online. I even borrowed some cute one's from a friend that would have worked perfectly, only they are a little too small. There are a pair that I can get that are great but they're a little more than I want to pay for something she wont wear very often. Dave is getting fed up with my looking though and just wants me to buy them already. I am usually the one what can find anything. Where are all the red shoes in a size 7? If any one of you see's them out there put them on hold for me.
And when are we going to get our Christmas pictures taken? The kids have been sick, its been cold and rainy. I wanted to just take them to Mile Square and let them run around but things have not quite been conducive to picture taking recently. And I have come to the conclusion that this year we will be lucky to get a picture of the 2 kids... let alone the entire family. We will be sending a picture out. What that will be or when remains to be seen... or known.

Luke's allergies

Just a cute thing that Luke said today that made us laugh so hard.
Ella had a slice of cheese that she was walking around eating. Now Luke is allergic to dairy product's and he's getting pretty good at recognizing the things he can and can't have. He knows cheese is on the "no" list.
Ella walked over to Luke and sat down right next to him. He said that he wanted her to move and that she was in his way.
I told Luke" She can sit by you, it's not a big deal".
I think he saw that the conversation was not going in the direction he had wanted it to go. He finally said,
"Sorry Ella. You have to move away from me. Im allergic to cheese.... sorry""
I love that he now try's to use his allergies to his benefit.

My personality type

WARNING

This is really long and may bore the reader. This is something I saw on a friends page and thought it would be fun to do.

As an ESFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.

ESFPs live in the world of people possibilties. They love people and new experiences. They are lively and fun, and enjoy being the center of attention. They live in the here-and-now, and relish excitement and drama in their lives.

ESFPs have very strong inter-personal skills, and may find themselves in the role of the peacemaker frequently. Since they make decisions by using their personal values, they are usually very sympathetic and concerned for other people's well-being. They're usually quite generous and warm. They are very observant about other people, and seem to sense what is wrong with someone before others might, responding warmly with a solution to a practical need. They might not be the best advice-givers in the world, because they dislike theory and future-planning, but they are great for giving practical care.

ESFP is definitely a spontaneous, optimistic individual. They love to have fun. If the ESFP has not developed their Thinking side by giving consideration to rational thought processing, they tend to become over-indulgent, and place more importance on immediate sensation and gratification than on their duties and obligations. They may also avoid looking at long-term consequences of their actions.

For the ESFP, the entire world is a stage. They love to be the center of attention and perform for people. They're constantly putting on a show for others to entertain them and make them happy. They enjoy stimulating other people's senses, and are extremely good at it. They would love nothing more than for life to be a continual party, in which they play the role of the fun-loving host.

ESFPs love people, and everybody loves an ESFP. One of their greatest gifts is their general acceptance of everyone. They are upbeat and enthusiastic, and genuinely like almost everybody. An ESFP is unfailingly warm and generous with their friends, and they generally treat everyone as a friend. However, once crosesed, an ESFP is likely to make a very strong and stubborn judgment against the person who crossed them. They are capable of deep dislike in such a situation.

The ESFP under a great deal of stress gets overwhelmed with negatives thoughts and possibilities. As an optimistic individual who lives in the world of possibilities, negative possibilities do not sit well with them. In an effort to combat these thoughts, they're likely to come up with simple, global statements to explain away the problem. These simplistic explanations may or may not truly get to the nature of the issue, but they serve the ESFP well by allowing them to get over it.

ESFPs are likely to be very practical, although they hate structure and routine. They like to "go with the flow", trusting in their ability to improvise in any situation presented to them. They learn best with "hands-on" experience, rather than by studying a book. They're uncomfortable with theory. If an ESFP hasn't developed their intuitive side, they may tend to avoid situations which involve a lot of theoretical thinking, or which are complex and ambiguous. For this reason, an ESFP may have difficulty in school. On the other hand, the ESFP does extremely well in situations where they're allowed to learn by interacting with others, or in which they "learn by doing".

ESFPs have a very well-developed appreciation for aesthetic beauty, and an excellent sense of space and function. If they have the means, they're likely to have to have many beautiful possessions, and an artfully furnished home. In general, they take great pleasure in objects of aesthetic beauty. They're likely to have a strong appreciation for the finer things in life, such as good food and good wine.

The ESFP is a great team player. He or she is not likely to create any problems or fuss, and is likely to create the most fun environment possible for getting the task done. ESFPs will do best in careers in which they are able to use their excellent people skills, along with their abilities to meld ideas into structured formats. Since they are fast-paced individuals who like new experiences, they should choose careers which offer or require a lot of diversity, as well as people skills.

ESFPs usually like to feel strongly bonded with other people, and have a connection with animals and small children that is not found in most other types. They're likely to have a strong appreciation for the beauties of nature as well.

The ESFP has a tremendous love for life, and knows how to have fun. They like to bring others along on their fun-rides, and are typically a lot of fun to be with. They're flexible, adaptable, genuinely interested in people, and usually kind-hearted. They have a special ability to get a lot of fun out of life, but they need to watch out for the pitfalls associated with living entirely in the moment.

I love this Weather

Mom and Luke. December 2005 in Naperville, Illinois

Luke and Dad. or cold and colder

I have been so happy these last 2 days. Yesterday was cold and rainy. Today... cold and windy. It just makes me so happy and upbeat. I know it sounds weird but I just come alive in the cold. I get in the mood to clean and organize. I want to go out and be enjoying the opportunity to wear sweaters and coats. I love the way my cheeks feel, un-protected from the air and frigid. Red and rosy. 

So I am hoping to have another "cold" day tomorrow. I must admit today was  about 58 degrees but there is something about that wet, moist breeze that can cut right through you. I really do love it though.

I was remembering, as we went out to get our tree today, 2 years ago in Chicago. We went out to get our Christmas Tree, I was 9 months pregnant and it was maybe 17 degree's outside. After about 10 minutes we had to go home because Dave's hands were bright red. We forgot gloves and it was pain to keep taking his hands out of his jacket pockets to lift up trees as we inspected them. He took us home, Luke was a freezing mess, and went back to get the tree on his own... gloves in hand this time. Now that was cold. I still sort of enjoyed even that though and I miss, crazy as that may sound.

My style is changing

new decorations
old decorations

A few Christmas' ago I went to "Hobby Lobby" in Naperville Illinois where I purchased a ton of inexpensive Christmas decorations. It consisted of mostly snowmen and a few other such Holiday themed items. Santa's, Christmas tree's,reindeer... you get the idea. For about 2 years I thought they were all really cute. But now I can not stand them. I feel like a 12 years old decorated our house. I know part of the reason for my choices came because those are the types of things that were on sale at the "Hobby Lobby" and were were students on a budget. But I also remember thinking that they were cute too, so I can't cut myself too much slack.

so now I am finding myself wanting to pretty much start from scratch. My Holiday decorating is getting much more formal. I love green bay leave garland, colorful glass balls inside different sized clear hurricane's and vases, deep reds and greens, festive floral arrangements, and lights. So all this juvenile decorating is driving me a little crazy. I plan on doing some decoration re-vamping the day after Christmas so that this time next year I am feeling more festive in my beautifully decorated home.

I guess I am getting older. Anybody need some snowmen?

"It's a Christmas miracle"-Vanessa

Don't tell my kids but I got them a swing set for Christmas. Actually I was the means by which I will have make my Parents the hero's with the best present, as they are the one's who bought it for them. 

There is more to this simple story of Black Friday shopping, of course. And here it is....

I started looking through the ad's for black Friday about a week ago. There is a website where you can see the future ads, I don't know how I just know it made me happy. I spotted the Toys "R' Us ad and got to the back page where I gasped. A swing set with a glider, slide, teeter-totter and 3 swings for $70? I had to get it. 

I awoke Friday morning at 4:15 and was out the door within 7 minutes. After finally finding a parking spot I walked over to claim my place in the line. As I walked up I saw the first 10 people sitting in their sleeping bags on camp chairs, they had obviously been there all night. I got a spot about a half a mile behind those crazy people... seriously. And watched as hundreds more came soon after. An hour later I got in the store and ran to where the big items were. I found the picture of my swing set. looked down and saw the sight that almost made me cry, no joke. There were no more tickets left which meant that the sets were gone. I asked a few workers to double check and they replied that they had already done so for many people and that they were in fact sold out. They had in fact done so with in the first 10 minutes of the store opening up. I mopped around the store and picked up 2 little Star Wars things for Luke, still disappointed beyond belief. But I wasn't about to have gone through it all and leave with nothing. 

Then I found myself back over where the sets were pictured on the side wall of the store. I looked at the picture once again and sighed. No swinging for Ella on Christmas morning. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a large book. In it were all the other big ticket items that they carried. There was a photo and a ticket on each page. Swing sets, sand boxes, picnic tables, etc. I came upon the page which showed the set that I wanted. On the page was a ticket. Clearly never taken out when the sales were all set up. It had the old price and had probably been in there for months. This was it. This was the way that I was going to come away victoriously. I would bring the ticket up, play dumb and attempt to buy the swing. They left the ticket in there, it would not be right to turn me away. I was ready to play hard. I went to the 20 minute line, handed my ticket to the cashier and waited. She calmly said, "This item rang up at 50% off this price"  

"Great!" I played dumb.

She took my money and asked me to wait in a designated spot. "They'll bring out your set shortly"

I sat waiting, wondering what my next move would be and how I would demand a rain check for their over sight. All of a sudden I heard a man saying, "its the nice Woman over there in the black sweatshirt." I sort of laughed inside. He called me nice. I was manipulating their system.

The man walked out with a big flat cart with a huge brown box on the top of it. "Where did you park, Ma'am?" I am sure the look of shock could be seen but all I did was lead him to my car where he put it in, thanked me and walked away.

I still don't know what happened. I should not have that swing set in my garage right now. But it did happen and it is in my garage. And I am thankful for my little miracle. O' there will be swinging on Christmas. Lots of swinging.

Me and my talents

My lesson tomorrow is on talents and it has motivated me to explore new talents and further develop the one's I have. For some reason we, well I, feel embarrassed to even publicly recognize the talents we have been blessed with. I think for some reason we feel embarrassed or shy... downplaying what we are good at. Denying any God-given skills and talents, isn't that terrible. How can we do as the Lord has asked and use our talents to bless others when we are not even able to acknowledge we have any? So, though I feel a bit strange doing so for all to read, I am going to write up some talents that I believe I have been blessed with. I am hoping that by doing so I can work consciously on improving them and will be blessed with even more talents in the future.

1. I am a good friend. I try very hard to stay and keep in touch with people throughout the years. I make it a priority to make calls and get together. I love to listen and try hard to do so empathetically. I love my friends and place a high priority on trying to be a great one.

2. I am a good photographer. I have much to learn and am really excited to further my knowledge in this area soon. I am passionate about taking pictures.

3. I am optimistic. I never thought this to be categorized as a talent but as I grow older I see that it is. I try to see the positives in everything that happens.

4. I am a good writer. I don't spend much time anymore doing this. I use to write a lot and have many loose sheets of paper floating around covered in poetic and creative word.

5. I am musical. This is funny because I know nothing about music nor do I play any instrument. But I have always passionately loved beautiful music. Even as a young girl of maybe 6 or 7 I use to beg my friends who took lessons to play for me. I was front and center at all of their recitals. I am always hounding my "singer friends" to sing for me. I have a love for music and wish I could have seen where that would have taken me years ago. I still tell my Husband that as soon as we have money to do so I plan on buying a piano and taking lessons. 

6. I am athletic. This is a good example of not using a talent and loosing it. But I can usually pick up any athletic skill and play it well. When I was younger I was an exceptional athlete... I even got "athlete of the year" in J. High. Like I said, long ago... but it still shows traces.

7. I am open-minded. I try to keep an open-mind about what others choose to do. I try not to judge others for who they are or what they do. There is almost always more to a story then we know and I try to love all people to the best of my ability. 

8. I am quick to forgive. I love to have peace and am always happy to re conciliate and forget.

9. I am a good Mom. I feel like I do the best job I can and always strive to do and be better. I love to play and be silly with my kids. Be patient and understanding. I will do anything for my kids.

10.I am a good communicator. This is especially wonderful in a marriage like mine where I married a man who communicates well with me. I am good at telling people what I feel and want in a non-confrontational way. 

This was a lot harder to do then I thought and took forever. Maybe one day I can write down another 10 things without needing to think about it for so long. I believe that in order to be happy we need to specify the talents we have been given, develop them and use them to benefit others. I am going to set goals,practice, and be persistent in developing my own. And I know many of you that can help me along the way as you have mastered so many of these and more.

I love the silliness

Last night Brad and Emily and Dave and I had a fun time playing with "photo booth" on our MacBook. I haven't laughed so hard in a long while, we thought we were so funny.
I am really grateful for those times when its late at night and you're a little bit off your game. When you think your a bit funnier than you really are and laugh a little louder at things then you normally would. Being silly is always a welcome thing to be in our home. Especially when it involves family members and a distorting camera.

I am grateful

The happiest moment of my day today cam as I reflected on the blessings I have been given in my life and the things that I am grateful for.
there are too many things to list but I will express some things I feel grateful for in my life.
My Family. both extended and immediate. I have the most supportive and fun Family and not a day goes by that I don't wonder how I got so lucky.
The ability to have children. This past week especially I feel that I can, in the most minimal way, appreciate the agony of not being able to bear children. My heart goes out to those Woman and I truly pray for them to feel comforted. I feel blessed beyond belief that I have been able to participate in the joy(and agony) of bearing children.
My Testimony. I am grateful that I have an unshakeable testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel. I am thankful for my membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I know that Joseph Smith was indeed the great restorer of this, the Lord's church. And I know the Book of Mormon to be the word of God. I am thankful that we are lead by a Prophet of God in these days. I have faith that by following the teachings of the Savior I can live happily. I am grateful that I have been given the tools to raise my children, have a great marriage and be an Eternal Family.
My Friends. I have some of the most amazing friends in my life. I am humbled by being around them and feel so blessed by knowing and loving them.
And then many small things. The ocean, the cool breeze on my face in the evenings, the sun as it warms my skin a I get out of a pool, delicious foods, kind strangers, art, beautiful music, clean sheets as I go to bed late in the evening, telephones to catch up with those whom I love so much, selfless acts, leaders and teachers who give so much of their time, cameras and camcorders to capture priceless gifts of time.
And so, so much more.
I am truly blessed and am so grateful for all I have been given.

I love this shot

Some pictures that you get seem to have a perfect feel to them. I feel this way about this photograph that I took of Ella. She just walked over to me and I immediately noticed that she was wearing one of Luke's shoes. The sentiments to me are priceless. She really does love and adore her big Brother and is always trying to emulate who he is.

I'm back!

Gosh, its been a long while, hasn't it? 

Yesterday we had the privilege of having one of my oldest friends and her cute Family over for Dinner. I have been friends with Mary since I was probably about 3. We grew up in the same Ward and I have always really loved spending time with her. She and her Husband even went to School out in Chicago so we had the chance to see them a bit while we were out there, it was always nice to see a familiar face from the past. And the greatest part is that Dave really gets along well with  her Husband Jason... that doesn't always happen with Dave.

So we had a really yummy dinner that Dave made, some great company, and Mary made the most delicious key lime pie I have ever tasted. The best part was how well the kids played with eachother. Amelia, who is 2 1/2, Luke and Ella were pretty much non-existent. We got to sit at the table and chat while the kids just played and hungout in the Family room. They got along so well and had a lot of fun together. And I got to hold their handsome little baby, Finnley, which always makes me happy. 

So yesterday was a really great day which had an even sweeter ending. I love old friends, they are the best.

Pink ballet shoes and tutu's make me happy.
I just wanted to see if this worked actually.

David Lee

I know this is getting old but I needed to express once more how in love I am with my Husband. This week has been a rollercoaster. I don't think that I could have gotten through it without Dave. Actually, I don't even want to imagine going through it without him. He has been my rock. He has been so strong for us all and has just forgotten himself and taken care of us, his Family. I have yet to hear him complain about how tired he has been or how crazy things are for him. This week has been the worst week possible for him to need to be with the kids all day long. With the fires we have been so limited on what they can all do an the kids have pretty much been cooped up inside for days. Thankfully we have had some great friends and family insist on taking them for a while... this has meant more then I could say. It has given Dave a break and made my kids so happy.
I am really exhausted and am going up to bed but just wanted to quickly reiterate how in love I am with my Husband.

Thanks Dave

I was not feeling in tip top shape today. Dave and Luke went to Church while I stayed home with Ella.. she was napping and I wanted her to get some good sleep.
Ella woke up about a hour after Dave left and wanted to play. She was being so cute and so funny, I felt bad that I just couldn't do the things I know she wanted me to. She was a good spot and watched some show's while I rested on the couch.
Dave, my sweet, thoughtful Husband, came home a bit early knowing that I was tired and needed to sleep. He walked in and took over as he sent me upstairs to sleep. He was such a good sport about it too. I know he had a long day with the kids while I was not quite in the game; but he never once complained. That makes me so happy. It makes me feel so guilty when I know the kids are misbehaving and I can't do much to help. It makes all the difference in the world when Dave is cheerful and happy to help... or at least puts on the face that he feels that way.
Thanks honey for being such a wonderful Husband and friend. I appreciate all you do for me, especially today!

Clean makes me really, really happy!!!

I am really happy right now because I finally got done with the last of my cleaning. Here are the things I did this evening. Keep in mind that the house I am living in is 2700 sq. feet.

vacuumed the entire house

dusted the entire house

did laundry

cleaned the kids rooms

polished the wood

cleaned all of the wood floors on my hands and knees. Which, frankly, is the only way to really do a great job in my opinion.

cleaned the bathrooms- with Dave doing most of this with a bit of help from Luke, who loves to clean!!

moped the kitchen floor-again, Dave was actually on this one. I went to start and he would not let me.

So I am know so very happy. I love being in a clean house. I feel I do a really good job of keeping a tidy house but I have slacked lately on doing some good, deep cleaning. Although I am addicted to vacuuming and do it at least 2 times a week.

O' And I cleaned the Kitchen too.

I love staying home

Yesterday was a day I was dreading a little bit. I was asked to cover some time ago for a girl at my old job. Dr. Kroes is still a good friend of mine and working at the office was the best job I have ever had... so I said I would help out. 

I was kind of dreading going into work. I have covered before and although having a 2 hour, uninterrupted lunch was a beautiful thing, it was really hard for me to be away from my kids all day. Friday morning came and I eventually wallowed out the door and got on the 405 where I sat in that wonderful CA traffic. 

Work actually went great. I was able to resolve quite a few issues, set the office up on some new, updated software, and save Dr. K a few thousand dollars from an Insurance company who was giving him mis-information. I felt successful and accomplished. I was greatly appreciated; which felt really, really good. I got to chat with lots of old friends and meet a lot of new patients. It should have been the perfect day. But I just wanted to be elsewhere... all 8 hours. And when I pulled up into my driveway, after another glorious 45 minutes on the 405, I  ran in the door where my kids ditched what they were doing and bolted for my arms. That was all the love and appreciation I wanted in the world.

I am so thankful that I am able to stay home with my kids. I love being a Mom and Homemaker. I would rather have a long, hard day with my kids at home then the best possible day at an office.

I heart Pedro's

I was having a major craving for one of my favorite place to eat... Pedro's. Its a small fast-food mexican place with the yummiest food. It's always worth the drive to San Clemente. My Family has been eating there for years and it not only taste's amazing but I am always flooded with many memories from over the years.
So there it it. Simple and to the point. Pedro's is fabulous and it has made me a very happy girl tonight!

Massage chair and soft feet

Today is an easy day to describe what made me feel the happiest. Grandma and I took some time and went to Happy Nails where we were pampered by a relaxing pedicure. Grandma had never had one before and she was super cute about it. They had those big massage chairs and she just kept saying how good it felt on her back. One of the girls who worked there asked me if she was my Mom, I replied that not only was she my Grandma but that she just turned 91. Everyone in the salon stared at her with disbelief. I think Grandma likes it when people assume she is in her 70's. She deserves all the wide-eye's... she looks and acts like she is 20 years younger than she really is!
So I got to be pampered and relax. It was wonderful! I seldom get pedicures and every time I do it makes my day. I really need to do it more than once every year!

I'm sorry too, Luke

Just a funny little thing that Luke said... that made me smile and laugh the most today.
Luke had a really rough afternoon yesterday and it carried through into this afternoon. I think he must have snuck some dairy into his diet somehow, maybe Nursery?, because it reminded me of his rough days before we cut the dairy out. Anyhow, I was really tired and frustrated. He was at my Moms and was being really hyper and grumpy. I pulled the plug and told him we had to go home, his response was less than cooperative. After some firm words and being physically taken to the car and calmed down he finally started to mellow out.
This evening he said" Mommy, I was really grumpy and crazy today"
"I know Buddy. It makes me really sad when you get like that"
'I'm really sorry that I was sad and grumpy, Mommy."
"O' Honey. Thats so nice of you to say that. I forgive you and I'm really glad that you're happy now. I love you"
Luke pauses for a few moments and continues.
"And Mommy. You're sorry that you were so mean to me."
I love this sweet boy. And he was right. I am sorry Luke. You are such a good boy and I love you so much. I am sorry that sometimes I get so frustrated. I will be a better more patient Mommy tomorrow. Thanks for teaching me so much and making me a better Mom and person. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be.

My Sister

The happiest part of my day today occurred this evening. I was all ready to blog about Church today and how nice it was to be able to listen and to give a lesson. No kids, silence and reflection. But then I talked to my Sister, Charity, for an hour and determined that makes me really happy and rejuvenates me.

My Sister is almost 7 years my senior but we have always been close. Even as a small child what little I remember usually has something to do with her. I think she may have taken on the "Mom" role with me and I think that I really loved getting so much of her attention. Most photo's in my album growing up show me attached to some part of her. Even when she came home from her Mission, when we had empty bedrooms, we opted to share a room. I felt loved and pampered by her. Protected and esteemed. To me she was all that I needed, she was my hero and my best friend. And she never let that go to her head or took advantage of how I felt. She was the Big Sister I always felt I should have been to Megan growing up but so often was not.

I feel like I can talk to Charity about everything and anything. Sometimes I fear her honesty but that is why I so often go to her directly. She is witty and funny. I love her, her Husband and her kids. I am grateful for the many joys and happiness' that she has brought and continues to bring to my life. I so badly want Ella to have a Sister one day because I can not imagine who I would be or where I would go without mine.... the best sisters.

Ruby's Birthday Party

I always thought it would be fun to have a baby around Halloween and tonight proved my theory. We went to Ruby's, our friend's the Miller's daughter, second Birthday Party this evening. It was so cute and so much fun. Betsy did such a great job on this cute, Halloween themed party. She had homemade Root Bear, which I will now crave night and day, brimming over with dry ice. Festive foods, cute decorations... and even a bounce house! My kids will be talking about her party for a long time to come. They loved seeing everyone all dressed up. Luke was introducing himself as "Luke Skywalker" all night long. He was thrilled to finally get to wear his hallowed get-up and put it on 3 hours before the party even started.

I loved to catch up with old friends and watch my kids play with their kids. What a trip. A big group of us were roomate's not too long ago and now our kids are growing up and playing with each other. Its so fun to watch.

my kids make me happy

Yesterday was a really good day. The best part of the day is that the kids were just so good! It seemed like from sun up until bedtime they were just cooperative, cheerful, and fun... an A+ combination. We have been trying to keep the TV off more recently and I think that forces me to be more interactive and also the kids are playing and socializing more with one another. Not only are the days filled with more fun but they seem to be happier, which makes me a really happy Mommy.
I am proud of my kids and the things they do and say. They are both so sweet, kind and funny. I feel really blessed to have been given the chance to be their Mom.

Mickey's Trick-or-Treat

I got home so late yesterday and the last thing I wanted to do was get online.
Yesterday Ella and I went to CA Adventure for "Mickey's Halloween Treat", which was so great. The whole park was decorated for Halloween and was filled with Families dressed up. There were several stations throughout the park where cast members were passing out candy all night. There were lots of Characters dancing at the various dance stations where they had a DJ and lots of fun music. It was seriously the most fun I have had in a long time.
I wish I could have taken Luke but that would have been a bit too much stimulation for him and he cant stay up much past 6:30 these days. It was fun to do something with just Ella and I. She had the most fun running around in her cute little Bee costume and even kept her headband on all evening... this gives me high hopes for introducing cute headbands for daily wearing.

So sleepy

I am about to enjoy the happiest part of my day. In about 20 minutes I am going to go up to my beautiful bedroom, pull back my goose down comforter and then sink into my heavenly mattress and drift off to dreamland! Today was good... fun and busy. I am just sooooo tired.
I have never been more excited to curl up into my warm, cozy bed with my cute Husband.
Sweet dreams!

Time stands still

Today was such a good day. Those things seem to come just when you need them. Where the kids are angel's, which makes life peaceful and simply enjoyable.
Today one of my closest friends came out here to stay for the week. Jenn and I met in Chicago and hit it off instantly. I remember leaving the house where we met at a get-together thinking, "I think that we will be really good friends". I couldn't have imagined the extent of how true that was. We became each other's Family out there, I will always be in debt for that. Jenn is the kind of friend who could just come over, I never felt a need to impress her with my spotless house or well planed out playdate's. We could just sit and be. Our boys were each others first friends and just loved each other so much. We have loads of pictures of these 2 boys growing up before our eyes. Holidays, Birthdays, freezing cold days... the Jackman's were there.
So you can see why it made me so happy to see her and her 2 beautiful children today. It was as if time stood still and we were back in Naperville at Jenn's condo chatting and snacking while the boys played. Those are sweet, precious memories.
This afternoon we went down to Newport and watched the kids run around. When we headed out to the car we had to take a detour to the playground. As Luke and Morgan were swinging next to each other Jenn and I recounted the many moments and photo's of our boys doing the same thing a few years ago. And it was so touching to look to the next set of small swings where Ella and Madilynn were sitting next to one another, swinging. Just as our 2 "little" boys did back in the small, peaceful park in Aurora, Illinois. And it made me smile. And it made me love Jenn even more for being a part of our Family and our memories. She is indeed one wonderful friend.

Sweet release

I am almost a bit reluctant to publicly post this bit I feel it would be an injustice to me if I were to sugarcoat it. The happiest part of my day today came at 6:30 pm. In my home that is bedtime. 

Today was just one of those busy, hectic, tired days. I actually woke up tired this morning and never quite felt as though I awoke. Usually our 3 mile walk tends to perk me up but today I felt like I was yawning and poking along, sorry Vanessa. I was just in a bad mood today. Part of it is this yucky, "Fall" weather.It makes me depressed. I miss my Chicago Autumn colors!!

The sad part about my grumpiness is that the kids weren't particularly naughty or grumpy. They were pretty good, before Ella's 5:45 meltdown, which she snapped out of with a little thanks to "Blue". I was watching the clock all afternoon just waiting to start our bedtime routine... and it came right in the nick of time, I could feel myself  spiraling downward fast.

I even through in a late afternoon trip to the Pumpkin Patch and a festive, Halloween painting craft. I think I was trying to feel like a better Mom since I knew I was grumpy and a bit short all day. It didn't help that Dave was at UCI teaching from 7 am until he gets home tonight at 10 pm. Usually I cant complain about his great schedule but on Monday's I feel I am allowed.

So here's to the best part of my day. Sitting in silence and getting ready to watch "Hero's". I am really happy now. Sorry kids, Mommy will be a lot happier and awake tomorrow, I promise. And I really, really love you more than words could ever say.

Eat, watch Conference, and be Merry!

The happiest moment of my day was simply eating. All day. Watching General Conference and eating. And when Conference was over? More eating.
I decided that it would be a fun tradition to plan some really delicious food for General Conference Sunday. That maybe it would help me to stay focused and be more excited about the day. Sometimes I have a hard time concentrating so I needed something big... food!
We had homemade cinnamon rolls in the morning, my first time making these and I will say... amazing. And a bit later we had a yummy breakfast casserole. I must admit this was more for a sure thing in case something went askew with the homemade rolls. That too was one perfect dish. And for the afternoon session? We had a 10 lb. turkey, homemade mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, corn and a "Andes mint" ice cream pie. It was quite fun and quite delicious.
So here's to a new tradition... and the happiest part of my day!!!

When the boys are away the girls will eat!

Today was General Conference, which I really enjoyed. My favorite part was when Elder Nelson got up and sustained Elder Wirthlin while he continued, amidst his shaking, his beautiful talk on love. I thought it was so fitting that this man was teaching love and being loved at the same time. I could feel Elder Wirthlin's testimony very strongly as he exuded Christ-like love. I thought it was simply touching to see that he was determined against all odds to get across his message that the Lord so clearly wanted him to speak on.
But the happiest moment of my day was this evening. A girl from our Ward invited a huge group of us and our kids to her house to pig out on delicious goodies and chat. In the mean-time our Husbands were all at the Priesthood Session. I really enjoyed talking with so many different Sister's from our Ward... and eating non-stop for over an hour. The kids played so nicely with all the kids, about 25 of them, and had such a fun time. I love to watch them interact with others, especially when they don't know I am watching them. But I was the happiest while eating the amazing pumpkin cake that Melanie made. I think I may dream about it tonight!

here is the recipe:

INGREDIENTS
1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
1 (12 fluid ounce) can evaporated milk
3 eggs
1 cup white sugar
4 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 (18.25 ounce) package yellow cake mix
3/4 cup butter, melted
1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts


DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a 9x13 inch baking pan.
In a large bowl, combine pumpkin, milk, eggs, sugar and spice. Mix well, and pour into a 9x13 inch pan.
Sprinkle dry cake mix over the top, then drizzle with melted butter. Top with walnuts.
Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 1 hour or until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean.

My great love's

I was watching Oprah and her guest, the author of "Eat, Pray, Love" made some beautiful recommendations of daily rituals for an inner journey. One of her suggestions I thought was a beautiful one that I immediately knew I wanted to take part in, which is to account the happiest part of your day. I thought this was a beautiful idea and I got truly excited about it. So rather than fill to the brim our Family blog with a daily dose of my thoughts I thought this would be a better option. So here goes my own little space on the web. Jill's happiest moments.
My happiest moment of the day today was a simple yet profound one. Earlier in the afternoon Ella and I dropped Luke off at OT and then headed out the door to go grab some lunch. As we were walking to the car Ella kept insisting that we wait for Luke to come too. She would say things like " Wait for Lukie", "Come on Lukie" and " I want Lukie." These sentiments always warm my heart and bring out a smile, sometimes a small dewey eye. I bask in the sparkles that Ella's eye's exude as she watches and talks of her Big Brother, her hero. And the simple comment that Luke made later in the evening was the icing on the cake for me. We let him watch a little bit of "Star Wars" , don't judge me too harshly, before bed... even better right? On a side note he recently became obsessed with 'Star Tours" at Disneyland and my Mom so kindly introduced him to the whole magnitude of the force he so loved. After that there was no going back. So we limit his "Star Wars" movie to certain parts (all the older ones) and only for special occasions. He was extra good today so we told him he could watch it for 15 minutes this evening. After a few minutes he walked out of the room and said so sincerely and so sweetly, " I really want Ella to come in and watch my show with me" To which Dave replied, " well, you'll have to ask Ella that". Luke got down close to Ella's big blue eyes and pleaded, "Ella, will you please come watch Star Wars with me?" and of corse Ella jumped up and without a moments pause exclaimed" OK, Lukie" as she ran into Grammy's room after him.
It just brought such joy and happiness into my heart to watch my two great miracles love, want and need eachother. Luke really wanted to share with his Sister his pleasure, the thing he gets so excited over, he wanted Ella to be a part of that as well. And Ella doesn't want to think of going somewhere without her Big Brother. She wants him to be with her always.
This was the Happiest part of my day.